The Palms Hotel and Casino a Sweet Escape, Only Made Sweeter by Gwen Stefani.

Merlot... Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Loving Every Moment of It!!!

If You Ever Divorce Gavin, Call me Gwen!

I've been going to Vegas for years now, and yet I feel as if I just discovered the true Vegas!  No longer will you find me at The Golden Nugget, Imperial Palace, Harrah's, or the Tropicana.  Yeah, so what if the Bellagio and the Wynn are classy.  The true action only happens at the Palms Hotel and Casino!

I hesitate to say too much in this article due to the age old motto, "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas!" but I'll give you some of the highlights. 

I was at the Palms all last week working on another television show.  The fun really started to take place Tuesday night, after a quick bite to eat at Margaritaville I went up to my room to shower and get all dapper for a night out.  It was 11:00 PM when my crew would rendezvous in the center "Island" bar at the Palms and we proceeded to get a solid pre-game on by drinking mostly double Jacks...  before we knew it, it was 1:00 AM and time to head up to the Playboy Club.

The Playboy Club fulfills every fantasy you had when you were a little boy and you first discovered Playboys in your Father's closet!  It's a small slice of the Mansion, classy, sexy, and filled w/ Bunnies...  yes the cocktail waitresses all wear the traditional uniforms w/  poofy bunny tails and ears.  After exploring the tables and realizing that I was too "under the influence to gamble," I found myself at the bar that faced a gigantic glass window looking out over the strip.  Pulled out a cigar, which the Bunny Bartender quickly lit and I took a minute to let the moment sink in with yet another double Jack.  (Although, I think this Bunny was onto me...  she mentioned something about it should probably be a single.)

After the cigar and several more drinks my crew moved back downstairs to the blackjack tables...  somehow I convinced myself that now would be a good time to gamble (even though I was even more intoxicated.)  I quickly lost $200 dollars and decided to try my chance at some roulette but when I stood up from the table I could barely stand.  So I decided to call it, looking at my cell phone (there is no such thing as a clock in a casino) 4:00 AM seemed like a reasonable time to quit. 

What happened next will never be fully explained, because the memory is gone.  I stepped into an elevator with the full cast of an old reality show that may or may not have taken place at the hotel a couple of years ago.  Apparently, they were back for a reunion???  Anyways, I don't know what was said between floor one and floor seventeen but when my floor came I found myself being pinned to the ground by one of the cast members, while another one shouted "Don't punch him, don't punch him!"  What the fuck happened???  We will never know...

This was just the beginning of my odyssey.

My last night there, was one of those nights were you knew either Vegas would burn to the ground or I would die trying!  I had been working since 5:00 AM and all I could focus on was scoring some tickets to the Gwen Stefani show.  She was pre-forming the first show of her tour in the Palms brand new billion dollar theater, The Pearl (seats only 2,500 people).  It was the inaugural show for the venue as well.  The show originally sold out months ago in something like 8 minutes.  Tickets were now selling for $1,000 a ticket.

Now granted, I’m no Stefani Fan, I mean weren’t not talking about The Boss (I wouldn’t hesitate to pay $1,000 for the Boss) but I had a feeling that this was going to be an event, and it was!  Even though all week my crew bet me that I couldn’t score tickets, at 8:30 PM, 30 minutes before show I scored 4 tickets!  Two tickets on the floor, and two seats through a contact of mine who will rename nameless for future hook ups. 

Not 40 minutes later when Gwen took the stage, I was ten feet from her.  Let me tell you, you could wash laundry on that stomach of hers.  WASHBOARD!  She is looking amazing these days!  I couldn't take my eyes off her.  She opened w/ Sweet Escape and powered through an hour and a half set that got me and the likes of Paris Hilton (not 20 ft. away from me) ready to party even more.

After the concert it was onto Club Rain where more Jacks and more dancing took place… then onto Club Moon, which is located at the top of the Palms.  Talk about surreal, walking into the club I looked up and noticed that the roof was retracting and there was nothing between the dance floor and the Las Vegas night sky.  We had a reserved table at Moon where the Dom (the bubbly) did not stop flowing!  Paris graced the club with her presence as well. 

This night ended when I took a wrong turn into the kitchen of the club and two friendly security guards escorted me to my room… again. 

The next morning I went to work after 3 hrs. of sleep, ran into Luke Wilson and his entourage checking out of the hotel and then Paris again in all Pink at the Coffee Bean.  I was beginning to think she was following me?  Anyways, I don’t know if it was all a dream,  but what I cay is the shit was definitely bananas, B A N A N A S!

I’ll see you at the Palms!